The Queen's Regret
by Vaneria Potter
Summary: Miranna reflects on her sister's crimes... and how her own wrongdoing contributed to Underland's suffering


_Disclaimer: I do not own Allice in Wonderland, or any of the adaptions. Credit and profit goes to Lewis Carroll, Disney, and whoever else._

 _Summary: Introspection piece on the White Queen, in light of the events of Alice Through The Looking Glass, and the origin of her vow._

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 **The Vow**

In a way, every death and every moment of suffering caused by the Red Queen, Iracebeth, was my fault.

What irony, that the White Queen, kind and gentle and the hope of Underland, should be indirectly responsible for Underland's greatest turmoil.

I did not think of the consequences when I stole the last of my mother's tarts, eating it in my sister's room so that it would take longer for me to be discovered. It is no excuse, but I was a child, a princess, and anticipating the consequences of an action is something that belongs to the world of adults.

Iracebeth was always held to a higher standard, as the eldest and the heir. While it chafed at her sometimes, she did her best. I was somewhat coddled, in the hope that I would not come to resent my sister and cause trouble once our parents had passed.

What irony, that it was the other way around, and Iracebeth was the one who came to resent me.

I was the one who stole the tart and lied about it, who set our parents on the bath to doubting what kind of Queen she would make. I was the one who caused her to run away, her feet knowing the path but her eyes too blinded by tears to see where she was going.

It was my fault that she fell and hit her head. My fault that our parents spent weeks fearing for her life. My fault that she was never the same once she finally awoke, but far more prone to anger and extreme over-reaction.

When Iracebeth finally woke up after the accident, it was obvious that she had changed.

My sister had always been prone to emotion, but after she hit her head, she became enraged so easily. The swelling in her head never fully went down, setting her apart and leading to gentle mockery whenever people thought that they could get away with it. Red had always suited her, the colour of drive and passion. Now it's darker elements, fire and anger, were far more prevailent.

The day my sister woke up, I took a vow never to harm another living creature. Perhaps I should have been more specific, but I never expected to be queen, or in any position where I might be forced to harm one, in order to protect others. I told Iracebeth of my decision, hoping that she would realise that I was sorry and had learned my lesson.

My sister only looked at me coldly and demanded something far more difficult than a vow: truth. She would not forgive until I went to our parents and admitted what I had done.

How much would have been different if I had done so? How many lives could I have saved with only a few words? But fear and shame and guilt stilled my tongue, and with each passing day, it became harder to think of confessing. It was easier to think of the incident as Iracebeth holding a grudge over a childish mistake, easier to hope that my error would simply fade into the past, a mere drop in the vast ocean of time.

If I had told the truth, I would have been punished, but not harshly. Instead, I lost far more than dessert; I lost my sister's trust and affection, because I wanted everyone to continue thinking of me as the good child. After my lie lead to Iracebeth's accident, I feared that my parents would no be so lenient, my punishment made worse because I had allowed them to punish someone else in my stead. A princess may make mistakes, but to knowingly allow an injustice, much less to commit it herself, was intolerable.

I had known that it was wrong when I kicked the crumbs under Iracebeth's bed, and when I told Mother that I hadn't been the one to take the tarts, and every time I ignored my sister's demand that I tell the truth.

Her heart was turned to stone against me on my coming of age. When her crown broke and everyone laughed, when she lost her temper, when she was publicly humiliated in front of the court and when, in her eyes, the sister who had already stolen so much, took the only thing she had left.

On Frabjous Day, when Alice slew the Jabberwocky, I told Iracebeth that her crimes against Underland were worthy of death. As much as it pained me, I spoke no untruth. But years as the White Queen had taught me wisdom, and my Vow had forced me to learn compassion and forgiveness, even if I did not feel worthy of asking it for myself.

Besides, how could I condemn my sister for the turmoil of her mind, without also condemning myself for being the cause of it? At the same time, how could I pardon her without revealing what I had hidden for so long, and risk becoming as despised as she had been?

And then there was Iracebeth herself to consider. If my Vow prevented me from causing harm, there were no shortage of Underlandians who would have gladly killed her in my stead. Cowardice, as well as compassion, pointed me to a different option, and I banished her to the Outlands, with the Red Knave for company.

Leaving her alive presented it's own problems, of course. Iracebeth was clever and resourceful, and above all a survivor. She tamed the Jabberwocky and the Bandersnatch, ruled a court that constantly schemed against her, and somehow gained loyal followers. Stayne might attempt to strike against her, but he would not succeed.

Perhaps, in exile, Iracebeth would find some kind of peace, away from those who she blamed.

I am sure that it says something about me, something not very nice, that it took the destruction of the world before I truly realised how much I had hurt my sister, and that my pride was not worth her pain and our separation.

There will be no shortage of problems now, for the people of Underland have long memories, but perhaps we have a chance.

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 _A/N: Just something I thought up after watching Alice Through the Looking Glass, which actually made me feel sorry for the Red Queen._

 _Seriously, there are no words for how that scene made me feel._

 _Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and let me know what you think in a review._

 _On a related note, I have been published again, and **Snow White Learns Stranger Danger** and **Eternity's Invitation** are now available on Amazon, under the pen-name Natasja Rose._


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